#cousin dynamics

[lady-amalthea-antoinette]

My personal head cannon about the whole "favorite cousin" thing is that it was actually what Aemma called Rhaenys. She used to say it to both Rhaenys and Viserys' face to tease him. He thought it was funny because he was also really fond of Rhaenys, and neither him or Aemma really viewed each other as cousins anymore since they were married. Also they both knew Rhaenys was definitely Alyssane's favorite and before she was passed over as heir of Dragonstone her relationship with Jaehaerys was probably really strong, so they teased Rhaenys about that together. It was kind of an unspoken thing that Viserys' parents tried to set up a marriage between him and Rhaenys, and Aemma used to bring it up every once in awhile telling him he should be thankful it didn't happen because Rhaenys would've absolutely chewed him up. I think even though we didn't get to see it Aemma and Rhaenys probably had a pretty good relationship, and when Aemma died Viserys started calling Rhaenys "my favorite cousin" knowing it would probably make Aemma laugh wherever she was in the afterlife. Rhaenys would always smile when Viserys said it because she knew who he was thinking about when he would call her that, Corlys didn't really know but he didn't ask questions.

(yes I'm slightly crack shipping Rhaenys and Aemma.. Leave me be)

I also have this image of Viserys x Aemma and Rhaenys x Corlys going on suedo double dates where Corlys and Rhaenys are like all over each other and Aemma just stares at them in amused awe while Viserys is slightly uncomfortable.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

big bro jazz

[jsheios]

splat 2 sketch comic for the starving agent 4 fans (me)

[diamondzart]

I get why people may insist that Fear and Anxiety have sibling vibes and not romantic ones but in that case THERE WOULDN’T BE A LITERAL “I CAN FIX HER” JOKE right in the movie, come on guys 😆

Look at the faces this mf makes while mentioning her?

I mean would they expect people to NOT ship it? I am dead sure they saw this coming. Too many hints, too many. They had test screenings with teenage girls of all people. They are real experts in stuff like this!

[lilislegacy]

thalia: i can cause lightning

percy: so can i

thalia: okay yeah but only when you’re creating big storms, and you can’t direct it

percy: it’s still lightning

thalia:

thalia: i can cause brutal winds

percy: so can i. with storms.

thalia: i can make heavy rain

percy: so can my storms—

thalia: and thunder!

percy: you can see where i’m going with this, right?

thalia, glaring at him: fuck off, percy

percy: okay. should i take my storms full of rain, wind, thunder, and lightning with me?

thalia, rolling her eyes: i really don’t know how annabeth deals with you

percy: she likes storms

[spam-monster]

Why I Think Stone Should Be Shadow's Human Buddy:

- Both processing their grief.

- Shadow gets someone who's used to dealing with overdramatic rage and not talking about feelings.

- Shadow wakes up in a panic after a nightmare and trashes his room? Stone replaces everything without complaint and adds a force field around his stuff so he doesn't break anything else at night. Shadow mentions he misses having a record player? Stone buys him a new one and throws in every album released 50 years ago just in case.

- Stone gets someone who genuinely appreciates his help and who would actually do nice things for him in return.

- Shadow insists on helping Stone cook. Shadow helps clean up his own messes. Shadow tries to listen to his advice.

- Riding motorcycles out in the wilds and then setting up a tent and stargazing together.

- Also they're just both kinda hecked-up little guys.

- Like both probably mad at GUN still but settle for clandestinely thwarting their plans undercover.

- Also Stone kinda wants to take over the world in Robotnik's name but also wants to protect the world he sacrificed himself to save but also is too nice to use Shadow as a tool.

- Somehow they end up settling on "take over the coffee industry by offering better job benefits and use sustainable business practices to help protect the environment"

- Shadow helps transport the beans to reduce fuel costs. He likes having a job that's not just "run around to generate energy and let scientists poke at you"

- GUN is appalled when they find out the ultimate lifeform is working at a coffee company. "You have the power to level or fuel entire cities and you're wasting it on coffee?!"

- "I like coffee." Shadow glares dramatically.

- Team Shadow fits into dynamic as well - Stone having access to Eggman tech could be how they find Omega, and he and Rogue would be very catty at each other.

- Stone asks Tom and Maddie for advice on living with an alien hedgehog. They start giving him parenting advice.

- "I'm not a parent" he says

- but then he sees Shadow in danger and the switch clicks to "crap in trying to cope with the loss of the man I loved I accidentally adopted an edgy teenager"

- Just let him join the family dynamic as the weird uncle who watches soap operas with Knuckles and Maddie and helps Tails test inventions and threatens GUN with an entire arsenal of Egg tech if they try to go after the silly little alien critters ever again.

[literallyjusttoa]

Hey guys crazy idea but like Artemis and Apollo are Dipper and Mabel right? Right? Yeah I got carried away big time but like I think Gravity Falls + Greek Mythology is a banger idea so it's fine.

[inthehouseoffinwe]

Fëanor, Fingolfin, and Finarfin loved all their nephews and nieces I take no argument. They showed it in different ways, but there were never any malicious thoughts towards them.

Any competition they had was between each other (though Finarfin was very much youngest sibling literally cba to deal with his older brothers.)

Fëanor: Always has too much food, used to his kids bringing over their respective favourite cousin for a meal because they were out playing too late and he’s not exactly going to send a child home hungry. As they got older it was because they’d been out and this was the closest place to disappear away to and crash. He’s used to seeing various kids sprawled across the carpet in the living room, waking up with headaches and groans. He’ll never admit it, but he finds it hilarious and enjoys seeing the children happy. If his brothers ask? ‘What do you mean they were out, I’ve had your children here with me all night.’

Fingolfin: One day I’ll stop linking this post but I really like how it turned out so you get to see it again! Fingolfin happily lets them traverse his house, go through his belongings. He’s very much a partner in crime, helping them sneak around, acting as lookout. Pretending not to see a majority of sweet pasties disappear overnight. He lives closest to the busy parts of the city, so it’s not unusual for the kids to get ready at his house if they’re going out anywhere or even preparing for Court. Most of the kids have their own shared room, and they’re full to the brim of everyone’s clothes, jewellery, shoes. Essentially a whole wardrobe. It gets messy, but he loves seeing his house full of life. Even if he could do without the mess Tyeko and Iressë bring in… and the various musicals at 3am. ‘You know we never tire of having you here… but perhaps you could tone down the partying? Just a little?’ He wouldn’t have it any other way.

Finarfin: My guy ofc has his house by the sea which like Fingolfin’s, has many many rooms full to the brim with clothes and jewellery. It’s essentially a home away from home for his niece and nephews, they don’t have to pack because everything’s already there. As youngest uncle and closest in age, he’ll just so happen to tell the kids where to have fun. He had the least pressure on him growing up and knows the best places in Tirion and Alqualondë. Going to Finarfin’s is like going on holiday, he’ll back them up and make sure they can do what they want without worrying about their reputations as princes and princesses. ‘The kids are far too stressed and don’t get to come here often, brothers. Let them have their fun. I’ll take care of them.’

Bonus!

Finwë: The mastermind. The accomplice. The alibi. He has a wild side to him born in Cuivienen and honed over the Great Journey. Court life is too stuffy even for him sometimes, let alone his grandchildren. He’s the one telling them all the wild things he got up to in his youth with a wink at the end subtly telling them how to do things their parents definitely would not approve of. High King Finwë would never! High King Finwë definitely would, and he’s making sure his grandkids get the experience too. He’s the one who gets the parents to leave for weeks at a time and his grandchildren have the time of their lives. ‘My sons, you worry too much! Don’t you trust your father?’

[lowkeiloki]

cousins...

[vaguely-concerned]

from what I infer from some of his dialogue, my guess is that while lucanis hasn't had a proper relationship before he has had one night stands and short term flings. and -- listen, I know he's a dick and a menace and probably a hopeless case but please do still spare illario dellamorte a moment of your thoughts and pity for the role of incredulous yet intrepid wing man that he's all but certainly had to play on several occasions for that to happen. there are 100% people out there who were trying SO fucking hard to get no strings attached laid by this stupidly hot emotionally unavailable mysterious stranger who won't be in town for long without lucanis ever realizing it. people who would have remained tragically unlaid if illario weren't there to clue him in.

I'm just imagining Illario staring in pure dismay and disbelief at his dumbass of a cousin failing to pick up what someone isn't just putting down but scattering all over the floor like glittery confetti burning with a magnesium flame brightness to spell out 'SIR PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE RAIL ME THIS IS AN OFFICIAL ENTHUSIASTIC INVITATION TO MY BED' and having to push him out the door after them like 'maker's breath sometimes i don't understand how you have the wits to grip the right end of a knife, lucanis, they were throwing themselves at you and you just stared at them in mild puzzlement until they gave up and went away go fucking GET THEM for the sake of my sanity if nothing else!!!'

[hasello]

Leosagi dynamic in short (at the start):

bonus for this

[taffywabbit]

I keep forgetting to post this kinda kickass lego pic I did as a comm for a relative last year. pretty different from my usual schtick but I'm still super proud of it!

[joannasteez]

shameful

pairing: roman reigns x reader warning: explicit content. minors pls dni. not degradation or praise, but a secret third thing i have yet to figure out. infidelity! post summerslam return! authors note: i don't know what this is and i wrote it.. so yeah. enjoy?! let me know what you think. love to hear thoughts/opinions etc word count: 1100 tagging: @333creolelady @harmshake @kill-the-artiste @theninthwonder @thesamoanqueen @empressdede @southerngirl41 @sortudademais @2-muchsauce

that 'not enough" feeling. a fullness not quite reached. forever on the edge. the heat over his skin, vicious and damp as it breaks. rough grunts and the sure stroke of his hips. like torture resting in his belly. twisted and holding. waiting to burst, to release. almost. palpable enough to taste. throbbing down his spine. needy little moans breathing against his tongue and the delicious pull of your pussy. an encore. from cheery, fevered cries to the play of these little delicate ones, sweetening his ears, his blood. almost. belly tight. burning. fingers curling the sheets. digging. groaning. 

a hot, terrible breath bursts into your neck. frustration unruly. 

you thumb away those loose hairs sticking to him. dizzy, pretty eyes pulling away from their pleasure for a moment to take him in. your lips hot against him. kiss swollen and dangerous. "whats wrong?" sweeping over his cheek. 

his tongue feels dirty. folds over as he speaks with a griminess not yet recognized. "none of this bother's you, does it?" words trying against the air. 

you laugh. head tipping against the sheets. devious and full. moaning into that richness of amusement. kissing his lips and curling your hips into him. a shift that pulls him in deeper. urges him to nestle and groan. almost. rattled enough with pleasure but never enough for that faithful breaking. "m'being serious", he roughs. feeding in gently, a tender little go that steeps him in and keeps him clutched tightly. your body trembling and receiving. always so easy to receive him.

you smile. mouth faint over his skin. over his beard and the apple of his cheek. along his neck, skimming and breathy. fingers in his hair and a whimper delighting just where his pulse living. your tongue warm, peaking to lick and curl. playful. taunting. "would you fuck me harder if i gave you a little resistance?" your palms smooth, at his nape, over his back. slipping against damp, hot skin. smiling into his neck. "i play up the guilt, cry about how we shouldn't do this and how awful i feel, leaving my man all alone to lick his little wounds while you fuck me. that'll make you give me more huh?" an urge to shift his hips, rutting short and sloppy. cock stirring up at your words. 

his thumb hooks under the bend in your leg. settling his knees to nail into the bed a little better, taut and strong and holding you hostage under him. open and easy. neck craning to chase your lips. to cease that awful flow of truth better felt when it goes unsaid. because he did love it. that damning streak of possession that comes with a chase. a cat and his deceptive little mouse. your tone disgustingly sweet, lips wet, charming. "you want it a little more wrong baby?" you purr. rolling your hips to grind at his dick. "it's only a win if you're the only one smiling right? nobody gets their fun but you..." 

roman's fingers fill with fire. an ache he can't stand that blooms fierce. uneven breaths and that almost ready to burst coil in his belly. your neck warm as he squeezes. a tremble rippling thereafter. like your body was made to follow him. 

"...thats how it works huh?, that's why you got your hotel room so close to his..."

"...you love the idea of this shit..."

tighter. thumb pressing in to restrict your throat. a sloppy dazed go of wet strokes. the messy noise of it burning his ears red. a bright heat that flushes his face. 

"...love the idea of him hearing me, finding me..."

"...that shit makes you feel so good..."

a moan with the strike of words. talking yourself to the brink of that beautiful great bursting. whimpers clear and pitchy. that sticky slick of arousal easing him in, easing him to bury deep. a tingle in the heels of his toes, rushing to the crown of his head. 

you smile. eyes dim and dazed still. fingers quick to rub your swollen clit. the lewd song of it good to him. his eyes casting against it. to watch you flutter and perform desperate for release. 

"you want me to pretend for you?" 

"fuck", roman cuts. setting his hips to give a delicious little grind against your walls. the thick tip of him nudging, filling you to the hilt. deep enough that your body attempts to curl. attempts to close in from too much pleasure. a drawl of trembly little moan leaving him. stuttered and overworked. cock stiff and throbbing and digging for something beyond that almost feeling. 

"does that make my pussy feel better? if i feel a little more shameful, a little less eager?" 

he lowers. laps his tongue against yours. slips into a kiss. lips meshing to pull apart slow. 

"you puttin words in my mouth", he rumbles. 

"...but its what you want. punishment. you want him broken..."

a flare in his chest. eagerness. blinding and resolute. his pace focusing. deft and steady. a method found after the burning pour out of a truth left unsaid. because it felt better to claim you like this. to war and win against the convictions of a sobered morality. drunk now off the pleasure seeping from your body. your legs spread and your pussy wet for him. split open to take him deep. his body thick and consuming. but he needed you to play the game. to give in slowly. be coy and pretty and delicate for him. because the challenge, the chase of it made that burn, that release, a delight better than anything ever felt. better than the beautiful onslaught of a cheering crowd, or the feel of the belt about his waist. 

"call him".

his breath hitching. hips stuttering. surprise binding to his bones. 

"what?", his fair falling everywhere. sticking to the confusion along his face. 

"get my phone".

he shifts without notice. snatches your phone off the hotel night stand. your breaths heavy, fingers slipping with a shake against the screen. 

you set it down. a call to his cousin that twists his gut mean. a terrible excitement. the call clicking short, proving an answer on the other end.

you push. nudge his heavy body over till he's laying out along the sheets. his fingers gripping your skin to rough you along. stirring to throb again. slotting against the soft wet take of your body. skin damp and sticky and smacking lewd as he makes to shift your hips to fuck against him. his palm, a short whip through the air till it lays at your thigh. "roman...", you give. gasping and wispy and delicate. face done up with a horribly sweet show of guilt. lips bitten by your teeth and your eyes prickling wet. a performance that settles him into a renewed eagerness. pleasure rife and coursing about him well. moving fast away from that almost feeling...

"louder baby", he roughs. "let him hear you". 

[lilithofpenandbook]

The best Severus and Harry dynamic is when everything is exactly the same and they absolutely loathe each other

But also Severus is the one Harry goes to when he has a nightmare, the half-asleep Severus asking if he needs to 'kiss it better' (mocking, snarky) or 'actually kiss it better' (serious, protective) and he just needs to see how Harry reacts to know whether he needs to comfort Harry or if he's good to make fun of Harry until Harry's so annoyed he stops being upset. Severus is the one who kisses Harry's forehead when Harry absolutely wrecks himself playing Quidditch. Harry's the one who drags Severus to bed when Severus is trying to power through a headache. Harry's the one who cheers Severus up when he's upset by just being a sassy lil shit and cracking Severus up.

And it's even funnier when Remus Lupin is the only person who doesn't understand what the hell is this hot-and-cold dynamic? How the hell can Sev both hug Harry after a nightmare and yet also try strangle him when he says one thing wrong? And why is everyone so normal about this?! Why isn't anyone concerned?!

To everyone else, it's pretty obvious to everyone that Remus is an only child.

[marlynnofmany]

Not Special, Part Two

(Part One is here)

Oscar Tennyson grabbed his purchases and hurried after the rest of his crew. As usual, they were walking quickly on their longer legs and bellowing for him to keep up. The teeth-and-scales Mighty had no patience for human weaknesses. Of which there were many.

But, as Oscar had just learned, there were some strengths as well. And he couldn’t wait to show them.

He scampered onboard before the door shut, wondering if they would actually leave without him if he dawdled too long. Probably not — who would handle their finances and hunting permits? They’d have to hire someone else, because they certainly didn’t want to do it themselves. But he didn’t want to test that.

He had much better things to test. While the stark metal walls vibrated with the engine’s revs, Oscar wove between scaled biceps and tails to his own quarters. He pressed the panel by the door, which was oversized and cracked like all of them on this ship. The Mighty were not fans of fiddly little buttons or keys. Not when they could have panels big enough to punch, which only broke sometimes.

When Oscar stepped through and closed the door behind him, he felt immediately relieved. This was his private space to decorate as he chose, without worrying that someone would take things down or make fun of him. Ship rules were clear about personal quarters. Oscar’s fake orchids and real cactus made the room homey, along with more posters than the walls could hold. They spilled onto the ceiling, lining it with nature scenes from Earth, sports figures he admired, media announcements, and a good number of fluffy kittens. This was the one spot on the ship where he could feel comfortable, and he was making the most of it.

The bag of refueling station supplies crinkled as he set it on his small table to remove the contents. A high-end store might have had Waterwill bags that evaporated after a day, but this place used regular old plastic. Inside were food cubes, bottled water, and the purchase he was most excited about: six cans of very weak caffeine.

He scanned the label. It was just like the other human had said. Tall cans in dramatic colors, but not much of substance inside. At least, not as far as the average human was concerned.

Oscar couldn’t wait until dinner time.

Before then, he had a permit to submit and several other things to check. The ship should be on the way to Argosha, which was notorious for welcoming outsiders in to hunt the Dagger Birds that were giving everyone so much trouble, but he had better get their paperwork in order anyway.

He grabbed his tablet and left his safe haven, heading back into the public parts of the ship where he could face taunts from any direction. Really, these guys were just like his cousins. At least it was familiar.

Fending off tiresome conversation — “How’s the weather down there?” “Why don’t you ask your mother?” —he reached the bridge and found a corner to stand in. The captain and the pilot were arguing about where to land when they reached Argosha.

“The main site will have more people to admire our ship!”

“The new one is closer to the hunting grounds!”

“Dagger Birds are overrunning the place; everywhere is a hunting ground!”

“Do you want to pay the damages for shooting a building instead of a bird? We can take it all out of your pay, if you want!”

“Fine, but if we land on some overgrown hedge and the ship is scratched, you get to pay for that!”

“Fine!”

The pair of them stopped yelling and sat back in their seats as if nothing at all was the matter, because it wasn’t. Polite disagreements were always held at that volume.

In the brief lull while the pilot manipulated the controls with more force than a lesser console could withstand, Oscar spoke up. “I’d like to come too.”

Both dinosaurian heads turned to stare at him in surprise. “Why?” the captain demanded. “One kick from a bird, and you’re useless to us.”

“Thanks,” Oscar said flatly. “I’ll keep out of the way. I want to take photos of your fighting prowess; I should be able to sell them.”

Both of the Mighty preened at that, as he’d known they would. Ego was big here. The captain agreed, and Oscar didn’t let slip any hints of his secret plan. He just finished working on his tablet, then retreated to his quarters to practice Dagger Bird mating calls.

The air on Argosha was breathable but hot, at least this part of it. Oscar was ready with his Tool in his pocket. (He’d gotten out of the habit of calling it a phone, since the Mighty were right in that it did a near-infinite number of things.) (He still smirked quietly at the potential innuendo, but it was a conversation he didn’t really want to have with giant dinosaur aliens, so he kept that to himself.)

“This way,” announced the captain, pointing in what looked like an arbitrary direction into the wilderness. Whooping with the alien equivalent of testosterone, the crew raised their blasters and tromped off the landing pad with Oscar following close behind.

True to his word, he did take some pictures as he went. But he was waiting for his moment.

It didn’t take long to come. The shouting scared off all the wildlife, then the Mighty found a boulder to crouch behind and wait for the creatures to come back. They played a silent counting game to see who was best at guessing when they’d spot something worth killing.

Distant footsteps on leaves made them smack each other in excitement, but nothing appeared between the trees.

Now or never, Oscar thought. Knowing better than to startled his crewmates, he whispered, “Here, let me.” Then he took a deep breath and let loose with his best imitation of a Dagger Bird seeking a mate. “Woarrrrrrk!”

While the Mighty shushed him and wondered what he was doing and started to figure it out, an answering woarrk sounded from nearby.

Then another, then, three.

Oscar wondered if he’d overplayed his hand.

No less than five large and eager Dagger Birds crashed through the undergrowth at once, croaking and flapping, taking offense at each other’s presence. The Mighty all roared and leapt out, firing in every direction.

Oscar dashed for a tree he’d been eyeing, the one with lots of branches, and didn’t stop climbing until he was out of beak-stabbing range. He held tight to the trunk, catching his breath and watching the chaos. Belatedly, he remembered to take out his Tool and snap some photos.

This was actually a good angle. He got a great shot of the captain aiming down the throat of a wide-open beak, then another a split second later when the beak snapped shut inches from his head. Another of the engineer shooting one from beneath. Two of the pilot tackling the largest bird and sinking teeth into the back of its neck where it couldn’t reach to stab.

Other species did their trophy hunting from a distance. The Mighty liked the fight as much as the kill. Their blasters were set on a deliberately low setting, and their teeth were sharp.

Safe up in his tree, Oscar grimaced at how bloody things were getting down below. He yelled another bird call to distract the one about to spear the crewmate who’d been knocked to the ground, and he got a cheerful “Nice save by the little guy!” which was as close to a thank you as he was going to get. The crewmate scrambled up and bit off a chunk while the bird was distracted. A couple of the crew looked like they were bleeding their own blood, but most of it was coming from the Dagger Birds, which were just as stubborn as the stories had said. Not one of them ran off. The last to die fell on top of somebody, which just added laughter from the rest of the crew to the triumphant cheers.

Oscar took a picture of the bird being dragged off his disgraced crewmate. That photo he wouldn’t sell, but would keep as minor blackmail if he ever needed it. Sticking it up on the wall to remind everyone of this moment could be a valuable strategic move.

“We are the MIGHTY!” bellowed the captain, and the whole crew joined in with a deep-voiced cheer. Oscar climbed down to more approval than he’d gotten in the last month.

“Good work by our human here! Who knew you could do that?”

“That’s sure an efficient way to hunt!”

“We should bring you out every time. That was great.”

Oscar took the praise with pride, not bothering with modesty. That was just another word for weakness as far as these guys were concerned.

He managed to dodge when one of them made to slap him on the back with a large bloodstained hand, which just made them laugh more. Luckily the captain directed everybody to gather their kills for dragging back to the ship, rather than chasing the human and messing up his clothes.

Oscar took a position on the lowest branch of his tree, taking a couple more photos as the victorious hunters figured out how to get it all home. If anyone had asked Oscar, which they never would, he’d have suggested going back for a hovercart, or taking them one at a time. But of course they did neither.

Definitely the type to insist on carrying all the groceries in at once, Oscar thought as his crewmates strained to drag the giant carcasses through the undergrowth. He hopped down and kept pace out to the side where there was no blood on the leaves.

They finally made it back to the ship, doing nothing to clean up the smears of blood they left on the landing pad. Oscar darted off to his quarters as soon as the door opened. The rest of them could handle getting the birds into cryo storage, or chopped up right away, whichever they saw fit to do. The lowest-ranking one without significant injuries would be in charge of clearing the blood from the hallways, but only after they’d all taken a walk through the water-and-air blast chamber that passed for a shower here. It had always reminded Oscar of a car wash.

He kept to himself until dinner, sorting his photos while everyone else dealt with the catch and the mess and the injuries. The mechanical medsystem on this ship was just as efficient as the shower. They’d all be in decent shape by mealtime.

And mealtime after a successful hunt was also drinking time.

Oscar usually ate in his room, wanting nothing to do with the raucous meat-tearing and drunkenness. But today was different, because he’d learned something valuable about the liquid they were getting drunk off.

Oscar considered the cans he’d bought, then decided it would have more of an impact if he just took one of the communal supply. So instead he grabbed his new food cubes and a premade tin of spaghetti from his mini-cryo, and followed the sound of laughter.

They were already a little drunk when he got there. Sprawled across chairs with a table full of meat slabs spilling over the edges of the plates. And as expected, there were tall purple cans everywhere.

“Heyyyy, it’s the little guy! Let’s hear it for the human with the surprise talent! Maybe you’re not useless after all!”

“Thanks,” Oscar said as they pounded fists against anything in reach as a form of applause. He leaned against the open doorway and shuffled his belongings so he could get a fork in a meatball without setting down the food cubes. “That was pretty easy where I’m from. You guys really can’t do that?” He popped the meatball into his mouth, casual as you please.

The Mighty of course, thought this was funny, and took it in stride. More gulps from their drinks, more savage mouthfuls of food, and a few questions about the surely-excellent photos he’d gotten, which would make them all look amazing.

Oscar said he’d share the best ones. These would make fine decorations in their own quarters, and would probably be appreciated by the right paying audience.

Then came the moment he’d been waiting for. The captain raised his drink in another cheer, and somebody noticed that the human was the only one without a can in his hand.

“Get the human a warrior’s drink!”

“Bet you he passes out after one sip.”

“Nah, he can take at least two.”

Oscar smiled quietly. If they’d been paying attention, they might have changed their bets at that smile. He set his food down in the hallway to free his hands. When one muscular, taloned arm offered him a can of their most potent intoxicant, he took it. Oh so casually.

Then he whipped his head back and chugged the whole thing.

“Oh! Human’s gonna die!”

“I’m not cleaning up the puke!”

“What the supernova! There are better ways to go than that!”

“Somebody drag him to medical so we don’t have to find somebody else to do the boring stuff.”

“Yeah, he was just getting interesting.”

Oscar ignored all of them, giving the empty can a thoughtful look. It felt like the same thin aluminum he remembered from Earth. And if there was anything his cousins had taught him, it was the proper way to dispose of a beer can.

He dug his fingertips in and crushed it against his forehead. Then while the room reacted to that, he wiped off the drips and threw the can across the room. When it went into the trash on the first try, he was internally very glad, but he didn’t let it show. Instead he picked up his food and resumed eating. “What’s the big deal?” he said. “Is that what you guys have been getting drunk off? How quaint.”

“How in all the black holes—”

“No, he’s gonna fall over any second; just watch.”

“Quaint, that’s hilarious.”

“He’s totally bluffing. Just wait and see.”

Oscar was enjoying being the center of the crew’s attention today. He made a show of sweeping his eyes across the various cans in the room. “None of you has finished a can yet, I see. Was that supposed to be strong?”

There was widespread laughing and elbowing of each other, most of them still clearly convinced that the silly little human was going to throw up and die any second now.

So Oscar set down his food, walked over to the table, and chugged a second one. It was a bit more liquid than his stomach was really happy with, but that was a small price to pay for the uproar that followed.

They exclaimed; they renewed their bets; they drank from their own cans; they got visibly drunker and abandoned their bets.

Oscar leaned against the doorframe, eating spaghetti and food cubes.

After one particularly unsteady crewmate tripped onto the table full of meat, and someone pointed out that the human wasn’t wobbling at all, Oscar said, “You guys don’t know much about my species, do you? Half of what I eat would liquify your insides.” He held up a food cube, eyeing the different colored specks of all the ingredients that made it balanced for an omnivorous digestive system. He laughed. “You guys just eat meat. How boring!”

They only got drunker after that. Oscar was pretty sure that the nearest two wanted to pat him on the back, but the floor was moving too much for them to make it all the way to the doorway. Somebody offered him a raw slab of Dagger Bird. He turned it down with casual scorn.

“Nah, meat isn’t worth eating unless it’s passed through fire. That’s weakling meat you’ve got there. Get back to me when it’s cooked brown.”

They loved that. The party was an epic one, only winding down when most of the crew was too drunk to reach more drinks. Oscar demonstrated his steadiness by picking through the mess to drop his food containers in the trash, then move back to the door.

“Well, it’s been fun,” he said. “I’ll send in the med-drone to make sure nobody’s going to wake up dead. Let me know if you want to get your tails handed to you by any more Dagger Birds. I’ll call ‘em in close for you again.”

He got groggy approval to that.

Oscar left with a smile on his face, and a mild amount of caffeine in his blood. Maybe after stopping by the medcenter, he’d use that energy on some exercise. Thoughts of the run to the hunting grounds, and the way his crewmates had paced themselves, suggested that it wouldn’t take much practice for him to out-endurance the Mighty on the VR treadmill.

I wonder what else I can do?

~~~~~~~~~

By popular request, this is the sequel to the story I posted last week, which is part of the ongoing series of backstory for the main character in this book. (It started that way, at any rate, and turned into a sprawling series in its own right. Fun stuff.)

Patreon opens the day after tomorrow, on May 1st! There's a free tier and everything if you want to keep up without strings attached! And you can even request more delightful nonsense like this.

Onward!

[jackshiccup]

who else beefing with their cousins like this